Lingering Lingering


On rainy days like today, I tend to take much longer to wake up. My body succumbs to the cave of the bedroom and it demands to remain heavy and slow, which makes it excruciatingly hard to leave bed.

It’s not uncommon to still find me in bed after 10am on days like this. Luckily, Summer has more sunny days, which make me want to wake up and get things done. But every other day the clouds fill the skies, the wind quiets down and this hazy light takes over, setting this mood for the day.

Soon guilty thoughts start popping up. I should be working, I should get some bread, I should exercise, I should get this or that done. So many shoulds populate my mind.

But there’s something about the weather that makes going outside so uninviting and staying in this bubble so pleasurable. The bed, wrinkled sheets, a laptop, the headspace, the silence.

As a grown up I have duties, like getting work done and making meals. I could easily skip the meal preparation and order them, but there’s no escaping work. Although it’s quite solitary, other people depend on it. And when I’m doing it, I like it. It’s just harder to get to that flow on days like today.

I could try to get into why my body/mind behaves this way, but for now, I’ll just keep lingering on for a bit.