When I was younger, my dream was to become a famous singer. As a young girl, I began discovering my talents and soon became addicted to the flow of singing — the mental state you get into when performing an activity in a feeling of energized focus. Full involvement and enjoyment.
I had this dream for about half of my life. At twelve years old I began actively pursuing it. I enrolled in singing lessons, would practice days on end by myself, started writing lyrics, then songs, then making beats, I met some local artists and tried to “make it”.
With time, my core life values have changed
I used to value being successful, recognized and leaving a “legacy”. These things no longer matter to me.
After experiencing burnout while trying to make this dream come true, I put wellness and mental health first. The scale was no longer balanced and this dream I had was causing me more suffering than fulfilment. Short experiences gave me a glimpse of what an artistic life of exposure would be like.
I now aspire being near positive people and loved ones more than a life on the road. I value free time more than money, mental stability more than accomplishment.
After a lot of self-reflection, knowing who I was and what I wanted, I found a justification for my choices:
I used to admire obsessive ambition and was obsessively ambitious myself.
Today, I loathe this idea.
When I think of the mindset of Cristiano Ronaldo or Beyoncé — my ultimate idol to this day — this inexhaustible obsession with “winning”, sacrificing their private lives for the sake of their craft, and making well deserved millions out of it, it’s a way… A rewarding one, no doubt. But I don’t identify with it anymore.
Some things just aren’t worth it. I can still enter the flow anytime I want. Ultimately, it’s a form of therapy and spiritual connection to those who believe it exists.
Knowing who you are, what you want, what grounds you and what unbalances you is vital. That way, you’ll make more conscious choices that you may less likely regret.